ANYONE read about the Scottish man down from Edinburgh (News Post Leader, May 26) who came to Bedlington to beg?
No? Oh well, he was taken to court and fined £20 because it is illegal to beg in England.
Then it is decided that if he is prepared to sit at the back of the courtroom until lunchtime he would not have to pay the £20.
Now I am either thick or brilliant. Thick because there is a deeper meaning to this I can’t grasp, or brilliant because I have cracked the ‘punishment to fit the crime’ system.
So now, if you owe a fine of £40 you can sit at the back of the courtroom until teatime and not pay the £40.
And for £60 you can sit there until supper and make no payment.
And for the £80 jackpot you can stay overnight and are given the keys to open up in the morning to let yourself out and the judges in. Sorted.
Only one question: have the condemned to wear a pointed hat with a ‘D’ on the front while sitting at the back of court for said time? Or is the pointed ‘D’ hat worn only by the people who sit dreaming these punishments up?
It is, isn’t it? Because the ‘D’ stands for ‘dreaming’.
Told you I was brilliant.
This also gives a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘getting off ‘Scot’ free’.